I was in the midst of deep thoughts again. Sorta my usual thing to do while biking home. And I was thinking about limits. Everyone has limits. Some people like to live on the edge. Some people like to play it safe. As I pondered the notion I realised that for me, there are some areas of my life that I have to play it safe, and in other things I'm eager to push the limits to the horizon. Let me explain.
I love fast rides. I always have. This is why growing up, I was the girl that buys the all day midway pass and races from ride to ride every year at the exhibition (the Ex is what we called it growing up, for my American friends you can insert State Fair here). Anyhow I loved going on rides. I remember sometimes I would feel a bit scared to try a new ride, but having daredevil friends I'd always get suckered into getting on the latest and greatest crazy ride from hell. And honestly I don't think I've really been on a ride that was worse then it looked. Usually I'd get off the ride and be back in line again for more. And with all the spinning, whirling, twisting and turning motions, both forwards or backwards - or my favourite the centrifugal force, I can honestly say I've never yet gotten sick from a ride. I've got a rock solid stomach!
When I got a little bit older I discovered boys and cars. Will Smith said it best in his song, "She said, 'Drive fast speed turns me on...' ". I do love speed and fast cars. I like to ride in fast cars, and the rare time I've been allowed to drive one I've loved it too. I also just like to watch fast cars. Thus I find watching car racing fun. I've been to the Vancouver Indy a few times and I'm planning to make it out to Edmonton this July for this years Indy. I love the sound of the cars screaming by me at ridiculus speeds. I guess I get this cheap thrill out of it all that I don't quite understand.
On the other hand I can tell you about a couple thrills I can pass on. I have no desire to try parachuting. I've never jumped from a perfectly good plane and I don't think I ever will. I can't figure out why I'd want to waste the money on it - its just not my thing. I've never wanted to bungee jump. In fact the bungee jump type stuff they do at the fairs usually scares me. I think its too dangerous and not worth the risk. I've heard of too many accidents. Frankly jumping from an airplane might be safer of the two. If I had to bungee jump I'd do it over water off a bridge. None of this cement paving to break my fall - thank you!
So when it comes to rides, generally I don't think they can ever go too fast, go in too many circles, go too high, or any such thing. I say bring it!
I do have a lot of other limits. I have spiritual and emotional limits. I live by some pretty strict limits that my church encourages, however in reality I follow them because I self impose them. Do you honestly think my priest follows me around checking up on me daily? No. I could break any tenants of my faith if I so chose, but I choose to limit myself to obedience. It's a touch choice. On some topics tougher then others. Sometimes I fail to be consistent in my choices. Then I spend a lot of time beating myself up until I find a way to repent and make peace with myself and my God. I've learned I've got some tough limits to live by on my spiritual and emotional side.
Here's where I could talk about my failures to properly identify risks in my personal relationships. I know I've made some choices with the inner goal of playing it safe. This past year I've learned that even trying to mitigate certain risks in my life as best as I could, has still left me in a situation I never wanted to be in. And now, I'm asking myself what are my limits? What can I live with. Its too late to play it safe. Its too late to take some risks. So what is the reward that I really want? What am I willing to do to get that reward?
Life is tough and I guess I'm still re-evalutating. I wish I didn't have to but that's just how it goes. Life throws you curve balls. Life takes your safety zone and tosses it out the window. We survive our personal 9-11's but we are never quite the same. And our personal definitions of safety and risks and limits become challenged and redefined.
**These are my deep thoughts not yours. Don't be confused. I am.**
On a happy note heres a few cute comics I just found....
Centrifugal Force http://xkcd.com/c123.html
Blogofractal http://xkcd.com/c124.html
The Fast and the Furious http://xkcd.com/c127.html
DPAIN over DT http://xkcd.com/c128.html
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